Tag Archives: humorous

Our favorite humorous articles posted on TexasHomesteader.com

Tips For Fastest Cleaning For Unexpected Company

by Texas Homesteader ~ 

I always feel panic when an unexpected visitor is on their way to visit. That’s when I need to incorporate the fastest tidying tactics to get our home company ready.

Thankfully it’s easy to do, I’m sharing some tips to get your home looking tidy FAST for unexpected company. 

Do you feel panic when unexpected company shows? I polled our followers to see if they felt the same. Their responses were hilarious! #TexasHomesteader

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Cooking Breakfast Should Include Hazardous Duty Pay!

by Texas Homesteader ~

We typically don’t eat breakfast so enjoying it is a special occasion indeed. Usually either when we’re on a vacation or every year for Mother’s Day or Father’s Day when our tradition dictates that the honoree get homemade breakfast in bed.

I typically opt for fresh fruit, yogurt and homemade pancakes. RancherMan always (and I mean ALWAYS) requests bacon, fried eggs, jalapeno/cheese biscuits and gravy.

But as I crept around the house quietly to keep from waking him as I prepared his honoree breakfast, it almost seemed like a comedy. How in the world did our grandmothers do it??!!

I treated RancherMan to a hearty breakfast of Homemade biscuits, eggs, bacon and gravy. Good grief - how did our grandmothers do it?? #TexasHomesteader

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Wordless Wednesday: Grinch to the MAX

by Texas Homesteader ~ 

 

Our Mini-Schnauzer Bailey does a fine job portraying MAX from "How The Grinch Stole Christmas". LOL #TexasHomesteader

Our Mini-Schnauzer Bailey does a fine job portraying MAX from “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”.  But can’t you can just hear her rolling her eyes… LOL

~TxH~

Other Christmas Posts You Might Like:

Gift Ideas

Low-Waste Gift Wrapping & Presentation

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Audio/Visual Advertising Bombardment

by Texas Homesteader

Is it just me, or has the audio level of the advertising sector gotten crazy? 

Picture this: You’re cuddled on the couch watching a romantic movie with your Honey. And after only about 10-15 minutes of movie entertainment it’s time for the station to take an advertising break.

Has anyone else ever noticed the difference in volume level between that movie and a commercial for, say, a car dealership? The movie is at a comfortable listening level but the screaming salesman & flashing BUY NOW of the commercial is crazy.

RancherMan & I both race for the MUTE button on the remote control. It wouldn’t be so bad if they would just talk about their product. But it’s the loud way in which they do so that drives me bonkers.

Has the advertising sector gone completely crazy? Motion-activated audio/visual screens blaring at grocery stores, gas stations and more #TexasHomesteader

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Waiting for Baby

One of our cows is due to deliver her calf next Monday.  It’s always exciting when you’re expecting a calf but if you’re using the A.I. procedure you know the exact day that cow was bred and even the exact number of gestation days for that particular cow.  For me it makes the waiting game all the more nail biting because I’ve known this blessed event is coming since just 28 days after her breeding.

Using A.I. we know exactly when our cow was bred, and when that calve will be born. Our cow is almost ready to calve! #TexasHomesteader

Every day we make a round through the pastures, always including a thorough  inspection of our girls and calves.  Does everyone look good?  Is everyone accounted for?  Are all the calves bouncing & happy?  Our herd is used to our presence and we’re allowed to come close to any of them without anyone becoming alarmed.  If they’re laying down they don’t even bother getting up – to them I’m just one of the girls!  Although it’s labor intensive to be in each cow’s physical presence so often, a gentle herd is worth all the work necessary to maintain it.
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Cooked Spaghetti

Pushing a baby calf where you want it to go is like trying to push cooked spaghetti across the table in a straight line. LOL #TexasHomesteader

We utilize rotational grazing here on the ranch.  We’ll allow the cows to graze only a small area for a short amount of time, then move them to a fresh paddock to graze fresh grass.  It allows each paddock to be eaten down and then rested for a period of time to allow it to recover.

Although it’s more labor intensive it results in healthier pastures and healthier cows so it’s worth the work to us. The cows are all familiar with this routine and it’s easy to move them from one paddock to another – they know what to do. Occasionally a new girl in the herd will be confused and we’ll have to guide her through the gate separately but it’s seldom a lengthy process.  We’re slow and deliberate with our animals and they know we’re the good guy.

The trouble starts when little ones are in the herd. The calves haven’t had as long to adjust to the routine. They’ll watch lazily as the rest of the herd gathers up and maybe yawn & stretch as the they all move through the gate. Then they’ll panic, not knowing where to go. Now anyone that ranches for a living knows that you cannot accomplish your goal smoothly with quick movements around an uncertain animal. So patiently we’ll walk behind them and gently push them toward the gate.

Now today there are three younger calves in the herd and they are looking to each other for direction – kinda like the blind leading the blind. As we slowly and gently guide them to the gate they’ll bunch up together. Then just as they finally get to the gate, one will veer left or right and then they’re all off in different directions. By this time the mamas are calling them to hurry up.

We’ll slowly gather them together again, leading them finally to the gate. Now they’ll promptly parade right past the gate and trot further down the fence line. REALLY?? The gate is RIGHT THERE!  Your mom is even giving you the step-by-step directions to join her! But a patient hand will finally result in the calves getting through the gate. They’ll run to their mama – no doubt telling a wild tale of the bravery & valor it took to reach her.  😉

We’ve always had a saying: You can push even the most stubborn cow through the gate if you’re patient enough, but trying to push a calf through the gate is like trying to push cooked spaghetti in a straight line across the table.

~TxH~

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C’mon by & sit a spell!  Come hang out at our Facebook Page . It’s like sitting in a front porch rocker with a glass of cold iced tea.  There are lots of good folks sharing!  And you can also follow along on Pinterest, Twitter or Instagram

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