A Restless Night & Comfort Received

by Texas Homesteader 

It’s terrifying hearing those words from your doctor “You’ve Got Cancer“. There’s so many worries on my mind these days that I’ve struggled to sleep the last several nights. I roll over restlessly & glance at the clock – 2:45 a.m. 

With a sigh I slip from beneath the sheet and come into the living room to peer out the window.

Yes I love this place where we live, it’s so beautiful here and it touches my heart in ways no other place I’ve ever lived has. 

I silently open the door & step barefoot outside to clear my restless mind. The cool of the night rests gently on my face. The near-full moon is so bright it casts dappled shadows under the trees. 

A cacophony of crickets serenades me from places unseen, the deep-croaking frogs keeping perfect time from the pond.

When a worried mind keeps me from sleeping, I'm comforted with assurance that I'm not alone. #TexasHomesteader

It’s amazing to me to think about the life that is so vibrantly active out here while the world sleeps. And as I stand there immersed in the sensations I struggle to take it all in. 

Somewhere in the distance a lone coyote call echos through the creek bottoms –  I’ve always loved their lonesome call.

I look up and can clearly see a wispy cloud floating silently by, perfectly illuminated by the bright glow of the moonlight as a young calf calls out softly from our nearby barn pasture. 

It’s at this time that I feel the unmistakable presence of God saying ‘ “It’s OK child, I’m here with you”. And I’m immediately comforted in the same way a fearful child is comforted by a loving parent.

Fear and worries are just a part of being human sometimes and there’s not a way to get around it. But during this one-on-one time with my Father I realize that He’s by my side every step of the way.

As I glance around one more time, savoring one more deep breath of that cool fresh air, I once again feel at peace. 

Although I started out frustrated that sleep had alluded me, I’m glad that I didn’t miss this moment alone with God as I return inside with a renewed sense of calm. 

I silently slide back into bed, feeling very loved as I quickly drift off to sleep.


More about my healing journey:

See All My Stories About Cancer Survival

Other Inspirational Posts


See Other Inspirational Posts

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20 thoughts on “A Restless Night & Comfort Received

  1. Life Breath Present

    What a touching post! And one I needed on this particular day as I’ve been struggling with sleep and restlessness this last week. I’ve been frustrated with not being able to sleep well, despite needing it so badly to keep up with a busy toddler and to allow my body to do some of its best work in growing our newest babe. I haven’t thought to just relish in the time and the quiet while I’m up these last few days, but I’m thinking it’s high time I do so and bring that gratitude right back center! πŸ™‚

  2. Cheryl

    That was a beautiful writing and I can relate! Especially with our move and the unknown here. It’s exciting and worrisome for me but at the end of the day, I know it’s all good. I see God all around me. When the sun peeked through the heart shaped opening in the clouds yesterday, it was like a sign from the heavens speaking to love where I am, to stay in the present and not go off too far in the future.

    1. Texas Homesteader Post author

      πŸ™‚ Thanks Cheryl. Some days it pays to remember those heart-wrenching nights when I struggled so mightily with my diagnosis, and the comfort I received then. I know that He is with me, even now. I saw your photo yesterday- it was absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing your experiences, girlie! ~TMR~

  3. Laura - CaledonAcres

    So beautiful! Those nights follow me closely when Fall starts to fade away and Winter tries to set in. The days feel smaller and a sense of melancholy hoovers over me. I tend to bundle up and sit on the deck for a few minutes and watch the moon and pray for a quiet Winter. The dog would quietly follow in my shadow for a few moments and just as quiet she would return to her warm “nest”. I walk back in smiling and thinking tomorrow will be a better day πŸ™‚ So inspirational! So glad I’m on your blog now too, not just the Facebook page πŸ™‚

  4. Joyce

    As humans there are many times that we forget we are not alone, and who carries us. It is good to be able to step back and here from our Father telling us we are loved and not alone.

    Thanks for sharing on Tuesdays With a Twist.

  5. Buttons

    Oh Tammy this is truly beautiful writing. I feel the very same way in the middle of the night stepping out the door and seeing what surrounds. Thank you for sharing. B

    1. Texas Homesteader Post author

      I love that you feel the same. It makes ya kind of nervous to put it all out there like that in writing sometimes, but hopefully people see that it’s real. It’s true. It’s me. Thank you for your kind words. ~TMR~


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