Putting Yourself Out There When You’re Shy

by Texas Homesteader

OK, confession time.  I’m shy.  Not “Oh I don’t like to stand out” shy – PAINFULLY shy.  So shy in fact that it’s hard to be openly friendly to strangers or acquaintances.  It’s not that I don’t deeply desire that connection, I’m just too shy to put myself out there.

I can follow the familial line of severe shyness so I know where it comes from. My grandmother was even more shy than I am. But I just cannot overcome it.

Not everyone in my family is shy and I envy my siblings and family members that can casually start up a lighthearted chatty conversation with a casual acquaintance or even a complete stranger.  Try as I might, I cannot do it.

Helping an acquaintance feel, as I did, the actual loving arms of God Himself sent through the caring actions of others through her illness. #TexasHomesteader

But here’s the thing, this year was a rocky time for me health wise with a frightening diagnosis and fearful future.  Even as introverted as I am, when the news came out people came out of the woodwork with offers help to RancherMan and me as we went through tests, surgery and recovery.

I’ve written before about how blessed I was to be a part of that loving experience and how much stronger both physical and spiritually I came through those times as a result of it.  It’s funny to think of such a frightening thing as a blessing but that’s exactly what it was.  I was shown a side of many people that I never knew existed.  I was cared for, and I was loved unconditionally.

Helping an acquaintance feel, as I did, the actual loving arms of God Himself sent through the caring actions of others through her illness. #TexasHomesteader

Now an acquaintance has announced that she also has been diagnosed with the same illness I dealt with.  A few months ago I promised God that when I felt that tug that I would return the love He offered me during my illness.  Well folks, the tug is being felt.

What do I do?  What do I say?  What if I say the wrong thing?  How in the world does someone like me step up & put myself out there?

Helping an acquaintance feel, as I did, the actual loving arms of God Himself sent through the caring actions of others through her illness. #TexasHomesteader

This woman has already voiced her aversion to well-meaning people crowding around her wanting to know the details.  Oh I remember that feeling well…

I didn’t want my illness to be a secret but I desperately needed the prayers that would be offered by my family, friends and church family.  I was afraid to bring it out in the open for fear that if anyone would speak to me about it, even in a sympathetic way, that I would tear up.  And yes I did.  Time and time again.

But I found that those wonderful people weren’t put off by my fearful tears.  I received genuine reactions and true love from people I only knew casually.  They stepped up.  That was a very emotionally healing thing for me.

I want this woman to feel that.  I want her to feel, as I did, the actual loving arms of God Himself sent through the caring actions of others.  I cannot turn a deaf ear to this tug I’m feeling, I must act.  (deep breath)  It’s time to put myself out there, for her sake.


More about my healing journey:

See All My Stories About Cancer Survival

Other Inspirational Posts


See All Inspirational Posts

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27 thoughts on “Putting Yourself Out There When You’re Shy

  1. Alicia

    You are a true Blessingg to your friend and others. Even though you have no idea about it. Your words in this blog give others hope and strength every day. You may not see it, but I sure do. I see it in your words and how you respond with questions and the way your posts make some smile. You are someone that people look up to because of your knowledge when it comes to so many creative things you do. I the way you talk about your Homestead with RancherMan. You can feel the Love when you talk about family. And we can all feel that Love right along with you. You are a Hero and a Blessing for your frirnd. You have beaten the dragon and NOW you can assist your friend with her journey to beat it too. GOD Bless you my friend…

  2. Joyce

    While I am not shy there have been times I was not sure what to say. I don’t want to offend or hurt anyone with my careless words. When those times come up in my life there is one that knows the words to speak and words others need to hear, God, ask Him to speak through you. Pray that the words you speak will be His words and not your own, trust me it works for me.

    Thanks for linking up at Tuesdays With a Twist, join us for our 15th link up starting today.

  3. Jen Harris

    I’ve blogged several times recently about my journey through learning to obey those “tugs” of the Holy Spirit to step out of my comfort zone. What a blessing when I do obey…and what sadness when I don’t. So thankful for His grace and mercy to patiently teach and grow me, and for His strength and boldness to obey those tugs! Praying for you and your friend. What a blessing for her to have someone who has “been there”.

  4. sue@thet2women

    Amen! You go girl in Jesus and you both will be blessed! Thanks for sharing this post straight from the heart, for I’m sure it will speak to many!

    God bless you,
    sue @ thet2women.com

  5. Kim @ Curtain Queen

    Your bravery will be blessed! Sometimes, no words are better than words. Sometimes we just need someone to be with us, sit beside us, holding our hand, praying for us. God will give you the words to say. He gave you the similar experience for a reason. You know, better than anyone else, what she is experiencing, and you can minister to her. She will appreciate having you there to answer her questions. You’re gonna be great! (Meanwhile, I’ll pray for you, too.) 🙂
    His blessings,

    1. Texas Homesteader Post author

      Kim – it was hard to ‘put myself out there’ just to publish this post, but I’ve been blessed so much by the response! Thank you so much for your encouragement. ~TxH~

  6. Fiona

    facing your own fears and overcoming them and a serious illness means that you will have great empathy for your friend. God has definitely served this one up to work all things together for you.

  7. Vickie

    Tammy – not much more I can say. Everyone above me has said it all too well! I am fairly new to this blogging thing (almost 6 months now), but I do believe that the blogging community as a whole are caring, loving and wonderful people. I have received encouragement numerous times from other bloggers – people I will probably never meet except through blogging – and yet somehow I know that their words are true and really heartfelt! I want to tell you that you and your friend are in my prayers – and you can be assured that I really mean it!

  8. Sue

    Your blog is truly lovely.

    You and your friend are in my prayers.

    I’m new to blogging, and your blog inspires me to keep writing.



  9. Joe

    Your friend is truly blessed to have a friend like you. I have no doubt you said all the right things to help ease her fears and comfort her.

  10. Paula

    You will not regret offering your prayers, help, or hot casseroles! I appreciated people’s offerings when I needed them.

    It is better to reach out and be rebuffed than not reach out and regret it later.

    I used to be painfully shy, but now find myself often talking to visitors to our tourist town. It is a fun way to get to know someone I would never have met otherwise!

    Good luck and I will keep your friend in my prayers!

    1. Texas Homesteader Post author

      Of course you’re right Paula, and I’m working hard to step outside my comfort zone. Like you, I appreciated those things that were offered freely to me when I needed it most – it’s my turn to pay it forward. I’m hoping this forces me to confront those things that have always held me back so that in the future I’ll be much more at ease in these situations. Thank you SO MUCH for your encouragement, it means bunches! ~TxH~

  11. Sarah

    I used to be painfully shy, but when I went through a rough & lonely time in life I forced myself to be more outgoing to change things for the better. And it worked. I not only ended up making close, lasting friendships, but I met my husband because I stepped out of my comfort zone. As for the lady going through the same thing as you, the best thing to do may be just to offer your arms for hugs and ears for listening. You’ve been there and can understand what she is going through so you’re the best person to listen to her and let her know your experience. She likely will have questions on what to expect that you can answer because you have experienced it – over a doctor just spouting off the usual info. Good luck!

    1. Texas Homesteader Post author

      Thank you so much Sarah for your encouragement! What you described is exactly what I’m striving to do and hopefully bring her some comfort. I found doctors are often pretty short of giving details of what to expect, etc. and I’m hoping that I’ll be able to help guide her through it. ~TxH~

  12. Anna@stuffedveggies

    Lovely, inspiring post – you make a great point!

    I’m not classically shy, but I do have some anxiety about the situations you’re describing. I find it is quite helpful to have a “prop” – perhaps a homebaked treat or freezer meal – that allow me to both be helpful, and not be the center of attention.


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