12 thoughts on “An Emotionally Volatile Day For Me Today”

1. Patty at

   I couldn’t read your post the other day because I am currently going through it now. I had lung cancer and a lump in my throat. I had 18 chemo treatments, 4 blood transfusions, 4 fluid transfusions, caught shingles, 10 radiation treatments to my brain (small cell lung cancer travels and usually to the brain, 10 radiation treatments to my neck and 30 to my chest. I didn’t even have 3 months of remission before they found a spot on my liver so 5 more radiation treatments. In a real fluke when they did a scan, it traveled to my brain and they found 3 spots. It is either brain cancer or small strokes from the radiation. I went for more scans today and will see my chemo doctor tomorrow and the neurologist next week. It is like an axe hanging over your head always. My husband fought cancer for 3 years and was just declared cancer free last month. I will remember you in my prayers.

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   1. Texas Homesteader Post author at

      Oh Patty, what an ordeal for you. Prayer just sent up for you, sweet girl. (HUGS)~TxH~

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2. Nancy at

   Hey Tammy,
   I feel for you and send prayers. I had a HUGE support system when I went through mine. They say some dogs can smell it. I think mine could. Before I found the lump he suddenly decided he would sleep on my bed with me. As soon as I had my surgery he went back to the floor beside my bed. But he was always close. He never whined when we missed puppy playtime. And after my chemo when I started feeling less tired and took him for walks, when I let him off leash he never went as far as he had prior to that time. I have a best friend who came over every Thursday (chemo day) and take me out to dinner. I had friends who took me to doctors appointments. And cooked for me. My son who worked swing shift stepped up for me. I remember so much as if it was yesterday. Emotional memories are the ones that stay with us. Yes, my heart goes out to you and many others who have, “been there” or are going through it right now. We truly are a sisterhood.

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   1. Texas Homesteader Post author at

      A support system like that does help ease the burden and comforts the heart, Nancy. But you’re so right, “Emotional memories are the ones that stay with us”. Little by little I’m putting it behind me. But this anniversary always hits hard, especially since I have loved ones still fighting it! ~TxH~

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3. Laurinda at

   {{HUGS}}

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   1. Texas Homesteader Post author at

      Thank you, sweet girl. (HUGS) right back! ~TxH~

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4. MO Jane at

   In Jesus Name Amen!

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   1. Texas Homesteader Post author at

      Amen! ~TxH~

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5. candace ford at

   Tammy,
   It is always amazing to me to realize the enormity of the number of us breast cancer survivors. I’m sure any cancer diagnosis is as terrifying as this one. I have done the Susan Komen race (walk in my case) for the cure in Portland Oregon – to see all of these women, children and men – some carrying signs about a loved one stolen from their lives by cancer – is just numbing! I, too, had two surgeries. The first to confirm (hoping of course for the other option) the diagnosis and the 2nd to take a larger margin of healthy tissue to be sure the cancer was all gone. Of course after the 1st surgery I waited to hear the hoped for “non malignant” answer from the doc, but that didn’t come and it was back to the operating table. Then came the grueling months of chemo and radiation therapies. I was so cold all the time – I would wrap up in a blanket and sit out on the deck in a lawn chair in the midday sun and had to wear a stocking hat to bed. The birdman who lives with me was just great – goes to show that not everyone in this world is just about looks and appearance. At big places like Costco he could spot me across the store – short woman with a white baseball hat. Not as easy now just short woman with grey hair. There are many things in my corner of the world to be grateful for but I have to give thoughts and prayers to people all over the globe who don’t have that. Blessings to all!

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   1. Texas Homesteader Post author at

      Stressful times, huh Candace? (Hugs) ~TxH~

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6. Patti at

   June 1, 2000 I had an emergency bilateral mastectomy. I had just had a mammogram 3 months prior and everything was “okay” but it wasn’t okay for me. I knew something was wrong and on that June 1st day I woke up in a pool of blood. Both milk ducts burst and 6 hrs later, blood transfusion, I woke feeling like a train hit me head on. I’ve learned to listen to my gut and don’t take no for an answer, it has paid off several times since. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and everyone who faces this horrible disease. We can put the man on the moon, we certainly can do better than what we have now. Hugs to you Tammy, you’re not alone!! Love, Patti

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   1. Texas Homesteader Post author at

      Thank you, sweet girl, for your encouraging words. I know today should be filled with joy for me. Joy for my healing and for the many blessings I witnessed during my own journey. But for some reason it’s gripping turmoil every year on this day and it’s actually quite puzzling to me. I’ve learned to accept the feelings of today as I pray for the many warrior sisters going through this fearful journey too. Tales of hope and encouragement such as yours help not only me, but others going through it. Thank you for sharing. XOX ~TxH~

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