by Texas Homesteader ~
It’s way too easy to look at that person asking for food assistance and judge whether or not they actually DESERVE it. You may wonder if they’re just lazy, if they’re trying to cheat the system, or if they don’t want to work to provide for themselves.
But please Don’t Judge! There are way too many things you don’t know…
Life Can Turn Complicated FAST
It’s easy to overlook basic need when your life is going well. You know, when your career is holding steady, your children are healthy and happy, your marriage is strong and you have no sudden unexpected medical conditions to plunge you into that place where no one wants to land…
But what if that weren’t the case??
Think about these real-life circumstances for just a moment:
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- What if your spouse left you or died?
- What if you were laid off from your posh well-paying career without warning?
- What if your child developed a serious and very expensive medical condition?
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Don’t kid yourself, these things can happen to any of us.
What Does ‘Poor’ Look Like?
I know several families who are struggling. Some temporarily and very recently due to an unexpected event. Others, due to circumstances beyond their control, may have been struggling for longer.
Of course on the surface you can’t tell that they are struggling. Many of the things they own were purchased and paid for when times were better for them.
And of course nicer clothes can be purchased at a thrift store for very little money. So can jewelry, household goods and many other things that people like to have.
You often can’t tell just by looking at someone what their financial circumstance is.
Financial Hardships Not Always Visible
This is the point of my post: Some who are asking for assistance may be receiving erroneous and hurtful judgement from others based on false perception. When we look at them we might see nothing different than ourselves.
We may sneer that they really don’t ‘NEED‘ the help they’re asking for.
Or we suspiciously suspect that they probably have enough money to fill their own needs if they really wanted.
We may judge that if they don’t have enough money, maybe they should just work harder if they’re in a bind.
But it’s important to remember that we don’t know their circumstances.
You can’t tell a person’s need by looking at them!
Think about it – if hard times fell for you, you’d not just start dressing in rags to announce to the world that your world was crumbling. You’d not suddenly ‘look the part‘. And neither will anyone else.
Here’s My Wish For A Kinder Humanity:
Two special seasons are upon us. The season of Thanksgiving when we’re reminded to be thankful for our blessings whether large or small. And also Christmas when we all feel that tug to be mindful of others’ circumstances.
I hope we all remember that we’re all just one terrible situation away from being on the receiving end of others’ generosity.
So please don’t judge a book by its cover!
We don’t know what life is like behind closed doors for that person we’re looking at. But she’s worthy of our help and our love.
~TxH~
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Wonderful reminder to us all. Well put Tammy.
Following is Something taught to me as a child and tried to pass onto our daughters for them to live by.
6:37King James Version (KJV)
Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
We all try to live by that passage Colleen, but somehow forget it when we’re figuring out whether, in our own minds, this person deserves the help they’re asking for. I’ve discovered first hand how an unexpected turn of events can take my world from blissful to struggling and crashing down. Things are not always in our own control. It’s not that you’re not working hard enough or that you’ve made poor decisions. Sometimes it’s all out of your hands. I pray that this holiday season people will be kinder & gentler, remember those important facts and reserve judgement on someone who may find themselves needing help. ~TxH~
Thanks for this! I needed to hear it based on my past week. IT IS too easy for me to make sweeping judgements on others without knowing their back story. And its easy to think that a nice appearance=happiness and lack of need. Just because someone might have “stuff” doesn’t mean they are in a good place, that they experience the richness of relationships, the filling of that longing to be connected with others. And I concur! This season is the time to step out! Thanks for the post! I’m taking it with me this week!
Great article. We have been in the situation you mentioned. It’s hard to ask for help when you can see the judgement on faces. I also have a friend who fought through colon cancer. She has a handicap license plate because of the physical toll the fight took on her. She was at the grocery store one day and some lady started yelling at her for parking in the handicap parking spot. My friend very calmly told her that she should’t judge people she doesn’t know and walked away. People need to stop judging others. Someday they may be in a situation where they will be judged too.
And isn’t it sad, Pam, that those in need might hold back from asking or accepting help because of others’ judgement? I’ve also heard stories of people verbally attacking those using handicap parking thinking they must not need it. Why-oh-why can’t we all just mind our own business sometimes?? ~TxH~
Thanks for the reminder I’d like to add that just because someone doesn’t *look* handicapped, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve that placard & parking spot. We don’t know their struggle, or if they’re having a ‘light symptom’ day
YES Laurinda! There are many reasons why just walking from the car to the store might cause enough discomfort to warrant a handicap placard. Once again – we don’t know their struggle. Thanks for adding this timely reminder. ~TxH~
One year I helped with the fixing for Christmas meal delivery. We loaded up the van and headed off. We went to some very poor neighborhoods, but the last stop was a very upscale neighborhood. Very nice house. We had been told to leave the box on the porch and ring the bell which we did, but we stopped at the end of the block to make sure someone was home to take in the box. Someone one opened the door and pulled it in and we left. Never saw the person. They must have been too embarrassed. I learned to pay it forward because you don’t know when you will be in that spot.
Great post.
Thank you for sharing your poignant story Cynthia. I’ve seen many people in our very own community that needed help but refused for fear of being judged. How sad!! When did we become a nation incapable of just minding our own business? ~TxH~