What Is The Definition Of ‘Mother’? Lessons I’ve Learned

by Texas Homesteader ~

I’ve learned some important lessons about motherhood. I’ve learned it’s much more than being the woman giving birth to a child. Much more!

Not all mothers were present at their child’s birth. There are some amazing moms out there – whether biological moms who have been there from day one to moms who came into their child’s life later.

There are adoptive moms, grandmothers raising their grandchildren and so many more.

What I've learned about being a mom. You don't have to give birth to that child to be his mother. #TexasHomesteader

Mom, My Role Model

I have an amazing mother whose wisdom and guidance gave me the tools to become a loving mom myself.

She was extremely loving & maternal, yet firm in her expectations of each of her children. We were to respect each other and always respect our parents. Honesty and integrity were important parts of our character that were nurtured throughout our childhood.

She taught us the love of God, the importance of family, and the ability to see situations from the other’s perspective. 

Me As A New Mom

Back when my children were born I’d happily stepped into the role of mom, adoring my kids and offering the very best I had to them in all things.

There were many sacrifices happily made for them. Dance classes & sport teams to teach them team building. Chores & behavior guidelines at home to teach them balance & family.

Their benefit was the deciding factor in each and every one of my actions. Several thousands of decisions were made with their benefit in mind.

Some of those actions weren’t popular with the kids. I knew I wanted to be their friend, but being their mother came first.

So if a decision spanned the two relationships of mother or friend, I always opted for the ‘mother’ side of a decision.

Sometimes that meant not allowing them to stay out late even though ‘all their friends were’ – or foregoing a fun planned event because they were grounded for their actions beforehand. 

I worked hard to teach the kids that there were repercussions for their actions – sometimes good and sometimes not so good. The decision was up to them to decide the outcome.

Some of those decisions were difficult for me personally. Things such as how to deal with a bully or a demanding teacher. And suffering the consequences of any bad decisions they might make.

I knew I shouldn’t just swoop in and make difficulties go away, as much as my strong maternal instincts screamed for me to do. But I also knew that making a problem disappear without effort from them would not be in their best interest. It wouldn’t develop their abilities to deal with difficulties. 

I had to be there to step in if needed, but still give them space and the tools they’d need to deal with all manner of personalities, both now as well as in the future. They’d need that knowledge and skill when they were grown and dealing with a demanding boss or difficult co-workers.

My goal was to raise the kids to be happy, healthy, responsible, empathetic and competent adults. To know that they are loved, cherished and valued. And I wanted to give them the tools they would need going into adulthood.

Motherhood Is Not Always Biological

But over 20 years ago I received another important lesson about motherhood. In addition to my own biological children, my marriage to RancherMan – the Love of my Life – gave me two more amazing daughters to love!

So I learned quickly that not all moms who love their children actually gave birth to them.

I knew that these two girls had their own biological mother to love and adore them. My love for those two sweet girls didn’t diminish the importance of her love at all. It was IN ADDITION to her love.

I've learned some surprising lessons about being a mother. Our family is blended, but that just means there's more love to go around! #TexasHomesteader

The important lesson here is this: My maternal love for the children didn’t compete with nor diminish their biological mom’s love, but augmented it!

Who doesn’t benefit from even more people to love them as only a mother can??!!

RancherMan and I have never considered nor referred to any of the kids as mine or his, but wholeheartedly OURS.

We blended our two families into one home, one love, one FAMILY.

Mom Continues To Teach

As important as mom’s important lessons of my youth were, she is still teaching me today.

You see, a mother isn’t just needed when we’re children. Someone to bandaid a boo-boo, make sure we’re properly fed or to set guidelines.

My mom has been needed throughout my life. And she continues to guide and teach me to be a better person. More loving, caring, accepting and wise as the years go by.

So to *ALL* the moms out there whether biological, adopted or blended love:

Happy Mother’s Day!!  

~TxH~

 

Other Mother’s Day Posts

Mother’s Day Gift Ideas For The Eco-Conscious Mom

It’s Not Always Biological: What I’ve Learned About Motherhood

Wordless Wednesday: A Mother’s Heart

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